5th Lines and Projections

When a 5th line finally understands that no matter how perfectly they try to adhere to someone else’s projections, they will be burned regardless, they are finally set free. Whilst the initial fall from grace hurts — there’s blood and screaming (from you or others, who can say) — it is followed by deep relief. The chains have become unshackled. You no longer feel the pressure to live up to the projections because they no longer apply. You are the Bad Guy™, but you don’t care. You have nothing left to lose. 

You could’ve, you should’ve, you would’ve, and you didn’t. You hoarded and you didn’t distribute. You chose not to save me. You chose not to be my messiah, my protector, my knight in shining armor. Forget about every time you’ve ever delivered on expectations; they will only remember you for the cross against your name, for the one time that you didn’t provide them what they wanted from you (but may have never expressed, or you couldn’t promise without compromising yourself). 

Who is a 5th line without the projection field? Who is a 5th line beyond what solutions they can practically deliver to someone? Who is a 5th line beyond the mystery, behind the shaded curtain, when the performance ends and the lights come on and their magic spell begins to fade? Are 5th lines merely a glimmering mirage, a perfected ideal, that is never truly attainable except in the imaginations of our own minds? 

This is why the 5th line (periodically) hides. This is why they prefer strangers over intimate companions. The 5th line maintains their reputation when they stay at arms reach, in the distance, visible, but not quite. Because as soon as you get too close, you will realize they are just an ordinary human. Their smile is not as shiny; their charm no longer seduces. When they’re standing right in front of you — you see their pores, their acne scars, the food stuck in their teeth, their deep insecurities which lay barely beneath the surface. 

Does that make them fake? Does that make them a phony? No, it does not (imo). We need performers. We want to be seduced. We revere the 5th line heretics who get up on their soapbox to universalize to an audience full of strangers, as long as they can practically deliver the goods. They are here for the collective in the broadest sense of the word; they get entangled in personal relationships where they cannot maintain their power.

And yet — they are not victims. There is no one to blame on either end of this equation. The 5th line who is unafraid to be burned is someone who commands deep self-respect; they can walk through fire, and still emerge whole on the other side.