Being Seen.
Why do we struggle so much to be seen? Why do we hide certain parts of ourselves out of fear of rejection, shame, and vulnerability?
I believe it comes down to self-acceptance, or rather, the lack of it. Whether we are consciously aware of it or not, we often wear masks in social situations — both IRL and online — because we don’t believe certain parts of ourselves will be loved or validated by others. We might see how other people receive approval, and attempt to become them at the expense of our own authenticity.
I know this is an overused saying in the self-development world and spiritual spaces — “just be yourself, just be authentic” yada yada. BUT have you ever really sat down and reflected how much noise is trying to pull you away from your authenticity? How HARD it is to know who you are when you are constantly bombarded with other people’s beliefs, opinions, values, identities, aesthetics…
No wonder we are all confused. Or maybe I can only speak for myself.
I was journaling this morning about this topic, realizing all the micro ways I abandon myself by not being authentic. Like when someone asks me what I’m going to do after work, I tell tiny white lies because I’m embarrassed of how I spend my free time, my interests, passions, etc. Or how I still resist to share with people I am a writer — I feel this internal squirm in my body, the discomfort of a hidden part of myself potentially being seen.
Authenticity is your uniqueness. It’s the imprint of your soul. If we were to truly live from this space, embody all parts of ourselves without judgment, then you wouldn’t compare yourself to others, would you?
When I create or write something that is truly authentic, I don’t care about the reception. I do it out of pure instinctive joy, not for the need of other’s to tell me I’m worthy or special. Authenticity is that inner light which shines within you that cannot be influenced when you are truly tapped in. It feels easy, natural. Whenever you feel like you are forcing something and are meeting internal resistance, whether that’s creatively, in a relationship, or a job — perhaps ask yourself, am I being authentic? Is this project/person/situation truly authentic to me?
Allowing yourself to be seen is a practice. It’s not actually about posting more on social media to be literally visible to others. It’s fully seeing yourself. It’s showing yourself self-compassion, no matter if you are alone at home, out in the world engaging with others, or showing up online. It’s bringing the disparate parts of yourself together and allowing them to exist simultaneously; none better, none worse.
bell hooks once said that the word “love” is a verb, not a noun. Being seen and showing up authentically is the same. Whilst the process still often terrifies me, I keep practicing, incrementally pulling parts of myself out of the shadows and into light.