Choose Your Beliefs Wisely
Throughout my 20s, I have bounced from various systems and modalities and what I have come to recognize is: I am obsessed with extremes. I am obsessed with diving head-first into a new system, teaching, or way of living, and allowing it to consume my entire world. What I have learnt, through much trial and error, is that this pattern isn’t healthy (for me). It provides a false sense of certainty — something to grab onto, rigidly, to feel like I had control over my life.
It was also a means of outsourcing my own autonomy. Instead of consulting my intuition, I sought to find answers in the external, a set of “guidelines” to tell me what to do. It is not that these systems or modalities are “bad.” In fact, many are incredibly useful, practical, and transformative. But our relationship to these systems and modalities become muddled when we convert it into a belief system or dogmatic way of living, not unlike religion. When we become very rigid and fixed in any one system or modality, it cuts us off from other parts of ourselves that can’t be expressed through that specific lens. We conflate our identification with a set of labels which box us in, instead of witnessing who we truly are (a set of contradictions and complexities, which may not match up 100% with any one system of school of thought).
It often doesn’t start off this way. Often, these systems or modalities begin as the medicine we need in that very moment in our lives. But sometimes, we take the medicine for too long and it turns to poison. This was the case for me when it came to Human Design. In the beginning it was liberating; over time it became confining. It feels strange to shed this identity when my entire life - and internet persona - was built around this system for the last four years. Closing this chapter has brought up a lot of grief, anger, and pain that I’m still moving through. At some point, I may return to this system and be able to engage with it in a healthy way. But for now, I need space. Lots of it. And if I never come back to Human Design, I’m totally okay with that reality.
As I have been gradually moving away from Human Design, I have been re-making the bond with systems and modalities I previously discarded (yoga, meditation, manifestation etc), and I am realizing there are seeds of truth in all of them. It wasn’t that any of them were false — I was simply looking for evidence to support that theory as true. It’s like the example of when you’re looking to buy a certain type of car, and all of a sudden, you see that specific model everywhere. The more identified you are with a system or set of beliefs — the more evidence you shall find because you’re choosing to view the world through that particular lens. It’s why you can have people on complete opposite sides of the political spectrum argue for why they are right and the other side is wrong. Or members of fundamentalist religions who are convinced their way is the only way. There is evidence to support all theories. So which ones are you choosing to buy into?
This is where it comes down to discernment. As long as the beliefs you are adopting do not harm anyone — and are not harming yourself — then by all means, go ahead and keep them. But first, ask yourself:
Does this way of seeing actually benefit me?
Has it proven effective in my life?
What have been the consequences (both positive and negative) of believing in this set of ideas?
Would it be scary to release my grip on this system/modality/way of living and consider alternatives?
Do I feel like I can be my whole, authentic self within this system? Or does it repress certain parts of myself which are not congruent with the beliefs/rules/ideas it proposes?
Can I adapt the parts of this system which work for me and my life and leave the rest at the door? Can I allow myself to release any shame or guilt for not following “the rules,” and make this way of living my own?
All of these systems and modalities are simply tools in the tool belt; it’s empowering to realize you get to decide which ones work for you and can support you in any given moment (which can change over time, depending on the season you are in you life). This is a reclamation of your own power. These tools are meant to serve your awareness. But don’t get confused by thinking the tool is what you’re meant to be focusing on. Don’t get lost in the sauce.
I think one of the scariest - and underrated - things you can do is to learn how to trust yourself. To learn how to listen to your intuition which often does not make logical sense or fit into any neat system. You need to be able to find your center of gravity, your own individual truth. Not “the” truth, but YOUR truth. This takes time and patience and a willingness to be okay with uncertainty. Have compassion and grace for yourself; there is no getting it “wrong.” You are learning every step of the way.
All this to say — please be wise about the belief systems you adopt. Be wary of “extremes.” Be mindful of the framework you are using to perceive reality. Understand you can change these at any moment. However, the deeper entrenched these frameworks are, the longer it will take to shift and unpack. First, you have to able to see these beliefs for what they are - invisible glasses you must remember you’re wearing. The danger lies in forgetting you ever put them on.