Trust in Thy Inner Authority
“The nature of what it is to be a human being can be distilled down to one thing and one thing only. That is decision making — do you know how to make a decision as yourself? Can you make a decision that liberates you from the torment of your mind? Can you make a decision that is correct for you in every conceivable way? Can you make a decision as your own authority and feel no doubt, no risk, and no fear? That you trust in your own authority the way the blind trust in God, on your knees to your own authority?”
I come back to this quote often. It always strikes a chord; the power, the reverence, we must have for our own authority. I mean, it really is like getting down on your hands and knees and praying to God. That is the type of trust we need to develop in ourselves to withstand the pressures of homogenisation and the not-self.
Pop HD would have you believe that your inner authority is only needed to be used for “big decisions”, which ironically, are usually conjured by the mind anyway. Funny that, that they always seem to brush over the fundamental key to living a differentiated life: mind is never used for decision making. It’s like, I would come up with a mental decision and then I would mentally fumble through analysing my emotional wave into making a decision. What a mind fuck.
To have an inner authority is to be moved by it entirely, the only guiding force which informs everything you do. It will move you towards certain people and away from others. It will tell you when to rest and when you need to get up. It will let you know what food to take in, what information to consume. Your entire day can literally be governed by whatever your authority is communicating to you.
It’s easier for us receptives to really surrender to it; we’re predisposed to. But this is the level that everybody needs to be treating their inner authority. This is the type of respect that it deserves. This is what is going to lead to real changes in your life.
My solar plexus is constantly taking in information and data from my environments. This is the nature of its awareness potential, obviously impacted to some extent by my humanness and the motor wave. But it’s certainly there. And it gets more fine-tuned every time I make a decision with it.
To be emotional means to operate in your own timing regardless of the people around you. This can be seen as deeply selfish by anybody who does not understand what this process is all about. Well, screw them! If you can’t honour your inner authority and be radically selfish, let me tell you, nobody else will.
This point of waiting out the wave is not about whether you’re up or down or this or that emotion. It is about time. Time is about movement. And only through movement can you gain awareness. This is the snowball that is pushed off the hill, gathering more and more information to inform one’s final decision. When you reach that point of clarity — not certainty — you can actually describe “why” you’re making that decision. Not that you need to. But it’s something to remember — emotional authority is the only one with depth.
When there is still nervousness in my body, it is not time to make a decision. If I check in with my solar plexus and it screams back “I don’t know!”, it is not time to make a decision. If anybody tries to pressure me into deciding something on the spot, I tell them “not now” because it’s not time to make a decision.
I don’t know when clarity will come. I can’t mentally decide when that happens. A decision may take a day, a few days, weeks, even months. It obviously depends on the nature of it, the kind of impact it will have on my life. Even when I receive an invitation that I already know I’ll say yes on, I’ll check back in a few days to confirm.
To live by my emotional authority is radical. We think it’s hard to wait, but I honestly think it’s easier in some respects compared to other inner authorities. If you’re splenic and you make a decision in the now, there is no reason for that; it’s purely existential. It can change in 10 minutes time, even if the same person came up to you and asked the same question. There is no depth. There is only instinctual spontaneous knowing in the now, whether a decision will keep one healthy or not.
I think about sacral authority. Again, this moment-by-moment response in the now. To communicate with sacral sounds, which have often been deeply repressed and shunned since childhood. Your body responds “u-huh” and you got no idea why it said that. Somebody comes up to you and asks if you want to go whaling in Antarctica and you respond “u-huh”. Well shit, you better go then. Human Design doesn’t really believe in morality — the only thing which has any power over you is your own authority. Everything must run by it first. This is what it means to live as yourself.
Your inner authority is the only thing that will save you. I sound deterministic, but I’m a shocking heretic and I like to be provocative. Nobody has the right to decide your life for you but your own authority. It is a place within you that you can consistently rely on. It is your definition. It is what you were born with before the layers of conditioning were piled on top of you. It knows everything your vehicle needs to operate correctly on this plane, what it needs to move you towards your unique signature. Nobody can take away your inner authority; it has a right to be exercised. The question becomes whether you’re ready to take that leap. And no one can decide that except for yourself.